Close your eyes,
take a deep breath.
Today is Thanksgiving,
a day of thanks.
You are thankful for many things,
like people from high school
who forgot to make their Facebook private,
and iced coffee.
Today you are making green bean casserole,
you are not thankful for that.
You did not ask to make it,
your sister volunteered you to make it.
Today you will dine with family.
They will ask you
if you are married yet,
if you have a boyfriend,
if you are gay,
if you still write your whole life on the internet
No matter what you answer,
they will silently judge you
with mouths full of mashed potatoes.
You wear your new sweater dress
Your mom opens the door
and greets you with a hug
and a million questions.
She likes your sweater,
or is it a dress she asks.
She wants to order one just like it.
Your dad asks why you are wearing boots.
Did it snow since he went out to get the paper at 6am?
The Farmer’s Almanac predicts a cold winter
with record amounts of snow.
Roads will be impassible he says.
But today the roads were passable,
And you are here surrounded by family.
You are thankful.
Today you will eat your weight in stuffing,
take home leftovers
and eat them for breakfast
Your uncle and grandpa are discussing the election,
you leave the room.
You find solace in the kitchen until
your sister asks to borrow money
like she does every year.
You leave the room.
Your brother in law sliced off his finger tip
while carving the turkey.
Your sister shouts that if you had carved the turkey,
he would still have his thumb.
They leave to go to the hospital.
You are thankful
until Aunt Ida taps you on the shoulder
and asks if you have any Vicodin.
Your mom introduces you to the boy she works with,
he is single,
new in town,
and drives a sports car she says.
He is wearing a tight sweater,
and a blue tooth earpiece.
You excuse yourself
to get a glass of wine
even though your mom says it ages you.
You find a hair in your stuffing,
it is not yours.
There are egg shells in the pumpkin pie.
No one has touched your casserole
that you made with organic green beans.
Twenty dollars down the drain.
You miss your cat.
she does not stress you out
or judge you.
You try to hide behind a plant,
your brother’s ex- girlfriend finds you.
Why is she there?
She wants to sell you a diet shake,
says she lost 5 pounds in 5 minutes.
That is why she is there.
You offer to hold your newborn niece,
She burps all over your new sweater dress
you just got from Land’s End.
It is only 6:30.
Grandma is napping so you can take her
Black Friday shopping.
She has a cane,
an oxygen tank
and a scooter in her trunk.
She wants pantyhose from Sears.
At least no one will be lined up
in front of Sears.
the Wal Mart of the mall.
She has a coupon,
that has expired
and will probably pay with a check.
Your mom wants to come shopping now,
she wants a new sweater,
or is it a dress?
Uncle Leon offers to drop you all off in front of Sears,
but you will need a ride home.
Ugly sweater dude volunteers
but you say grandma’s scooter won’t fit in his trunk.
Your mom tells you to sit,
she will refill your plate
and then you can have a nap.
Turkey has something in it
that makes you sleepy she says.
That is it,
7th Grade Science.
Thankfully, you are not an
in 7th Grade anymore.
Did you just find something else to be thankful for?
You look around the room.
You see mom wrapping up leftovers,
dad snoring in the recliner,
your brother is making out with his ex,
your sister is texting someone,
and you realized,
you do kind of love them
and you are thankful
and next year
you are booking a cruise
for the last week of November.